Don't Mess With the British Empire
by TheGothicSadist
Summary: "Now you all think of that next time you try and bloody mess with me! I'll send you wankers to bloody hell!" He turned, "Don't mess with me!" He whispered as he walked back into his quarters." Rated 'M' for vulgar language and yaoi. One shot song fic.


"Aim!" England yelled. "Fire!" Spain's main ship came to view. "Aim! Fire!" He yelled again. He grabbed the wheel of the ship, his long blue coat billowing out behind him. Spain's ship stopped just before his. "Drop anchor!" He went to the edge, grabbing a rope. He swung onto Spain's ship, cannons booming behind him. He drew his sword, ready to fight. He fought his way through the crowd. His sword hit a sure hand.

"Antonio." England slashed his sword, Spain blocked the hit. The shorter man was in a bright red coat. His floppy hat hung off his head.

"Arthur." Spain said with a slash of his sword. "We meet again." It wasn't much shock that he had met the man again. Spain and England were two of the most notorious pirates in the world. England knocked the sword from his hand, making him fall to his knees.

"SEIZE THEM!" Arthur yelled to his crew as he knocked off the smaller man's hat. England smiled at the man's defeated expression.

_How it all began, _

_If truth be told,_

_Had a master plan,_

_Now I rule the world._

_Took 'em by surprise,_

_Worked my way up hill,_

_They looked into my eyes,_

_I became invincible._

England sat in the Captain's Quarters of his ship. Spain sat next to him in chains.

"They're going to come for me." Spain spat at the man. England smiled. He got up and grabbed the man by his neck.

"No one can stop me, only I am in control." England whispered in his ear. "I am king, now bow down to me." Spain spat on his shoes.

"Never."

"You don't want to mess with me." England said, standing.

"You don't own me!" Spain shouted. England's foot slammed down on the chain attached to his neck.

"You dare test me!" He yelled. Spain just scoffed.

_No one_

_Can stop me,_

_For only I am in control,_

_If you,_

_Want me,_

_You better contact my people,_

_In my crown_

_I am king,_

_I love their endless worshiping._

_I am rawr,_

_A dinosaur,_

_But I will never be extinct,_

_So don't mess with me,_

_I'll shoot you down,_

_Don't mess with me,_

"Get down on your hands and knees!" England shouted, getting fed up with the man.

"Make me." Spain whispered through the pain, and that's just what he did. England pushed him down with his foot.

"Show me sex appeal." He said in his ear, as he pulled off his red coat. Spain shook from anxiety. There was a knock.

"I have your supper." A voice said.

"Come back later." He looked at Spain. "I'm about to have a little fun." The footsteps slowly faded away and England pulled off his own coat. "Take off the shirt." He said, tossing his coat on his chair. Spain just stared up at him. "I SAID TAKE IT OFF!" He shouted, hitting him with the whip. Spain gasped and fell to the floor, taking off his shirt anyways.

"Why are you doing this?" Spain whimpered.

"This is going to be fun." England smiled as he pulled off Spain's pants and pushed inside of him, making him cry out in pain. England cummed inside of him then pulled out. Spain fell to the ground, panting in pain.

"You bastard." Spain scoffed.

"Get dressed, you sorry bastard." England said as he left the room.

_Show me sex appeal,_

_Get on your hands and knees,_

_Forget about the meal,_

_It's best to keep me pleased,_

_Imagine if you will,_

_A meet on the block,_

_I've got time to kill,_

_So how about a quick fuck,_

_I've come,_

_It's been fun,_

_But won't you please disappear,_

_Something,_

_Tells me,_

_You can't further my career_

England slammed the door behind him. He sighed, touching his hand to his forehead.  
"What are you all looking at?" He yelled at the crew. "Get back to work!" The crew averted their eyes and got back to what they were doing. One young man stared right at England. "What are you looking at?" He wrapped his thick hand around the younger man's throat.  
"No… Nothing." The young man said through gasps of air.

_In my crown,_

_I am king,_

_I love their endless worshiping,_

_I am rawr,_

_A dinosaur,_

_But I will never be extinct,_

_So don't mess with me,_

_I'll shoot you down,_

_Don't mess with me,_

"Are you sure?" A sadistic smile spread across the British Empire's face, and his hand wrapped around the young man's throat, cutting off all air supply.

"Sir! He can't breathe!" One of the crewmates said, running up and trying to pull him off.

"GET OFF OF ME!" He yelled at the man, throwing the man to the ground with one hand. "He was staring at me, he deserves to die!" He scowled, picking up the nearest piece of rope. He tied the defiant man's hands first and then the young man's. "Get me some weights!" He yelled at the crew. They just stared at the man's blind fury.

'_Cause all your heads are gonna roll,_

_I've made your misery my goal,_

_So if you want survival,_

_Neal on my arrival,_

_For this is how I rule the world,_

"_Did you not hear me?" _He yelled at the silent crew. They got to work on finding the weights, not wanting to mess with the enraged man.

"Here you go, sir." England tied the weights to each man.

"Get up you bloody fools!" He yelled at the two men. They stood up, shocked at the sudden weight. "WALK THE PLANK!" The slowly stood up. He showed them to the long plank hanging over the edge—at sword-point. They walked off one at a time, each making a loud 'Splash!' England smiled crazily and turned to the rest of the crew. "Now you all think of that next time you try and bloody mess with me! I'll send you wankers to bloody hell!" He turned, "Don't mess with me!" He whispered as he walked back into his quarters.

"_No one can stop me,_

_For only I am in control,_

_If you want me,_

_You better contact my people,_

_See my crown,_

_I am king,_

_I love their endless worshiping,_

_I am rawr,_

_A dinosaur,_

_But I will never be extinct,_

_So don't mess with me,_

_I'll shoot you down,_

_Don't mess with me,_

_I'll knock you down,_

_Don't mess with me,_

_I'll shoot you down,_

_Don't mess with me."_


End file.
